The Reflexive Cycle

Scrunching your forehead, rolling your eyes and playing with your hair all forms of nonverbal communication, but are these nonverbal actions truly conveying the emotions that we pair with them. With use of the reflexive cycle you are able to look at yourself and work in changing undesirable behaviors as they relate to social experiences. Personal expectations of behaviors such as twirling/ playing with your hair in social situations can be taken in to consideration with use of the reflexive cycle.

     When looking at my own nonverbal behaviors I came to the conclusion that I was unaware of the cues that playing/twirling with my hair produced. A habit formed as a young child has now become a subconscious action. This action that is comforting and normal to me is not giving off the impression that I’m intending. For women, twirling/ playing with their hair is seen as a flirting gesture. I’ve realized that when twirling my hair in formal situations I’m giving off the sense that I’m bored or disinterested, even acting impatient giving off a nonverbal message that I have better things to do
To make sure I’m not sending off those negative nonverbal messages I need to make a change in my behaviors. The first step that will make a large difference in my tendency to play with my hair is pulling it up and away from my face. I have made myself knowledgeable about the triggers that lead to me playing with my hair, when those situations occur I now know that I need to keep my hands occupied.When watching the nonverbal actions of others I admire, I’ve learned what nonverbal communicative actions are appropriate for different situations. When seeing someone else is playing with their hair I automatically pin them with the valley girl stigma. I noticed that it is very hard to take an adult seriously, because when playing with your hair it is giving off a child-like essence.
Nonverbal communication has such an effect on how we interact with others. I now see how my nonverbal behavior shapes how others act towards and intermingle with me. Without playing with my hair I am much easier to approach. Since I’m no longer giving off that “valley girl” stigma I’ve notice that when interacting with others I am receiving more respect.
       With the reflexive cycle I became more mindful of my own nonverbal behaviors I’m aware of the distorted perception that can result from nonverbal. This has helped me further develop my ability to convey the message I’m aiming for. The reflexive cycle was a success for me I’ve seen what message that playing with my hair has been giving out and I am now better equipped to cope and respond to situations without giving off the negative aspects that come along with playing with my hair.